The Humble (?) Killer Confident Momma

Monthly Archives:October 2014

209

“Are you gunna have MORE?”

23 Oct, 2014
JoAnne
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Yeah…so…this is the famous perpetual question we always get, “Are you gonna have more???” to which I usually reply, “More what? More coffee? More wine? More what???!!!” (by the way, in case you are wondering, the answer to both of those first two questions is always YES) After the joking is over the other party usually says,”No, seriously, are you going to have more children?” And what I like to respond with (and sometimes I do) is, “I dunno, ARE YOU?” Afterall why is it okay for them to ask me that question but not okay for me to ask them the same one, right? I mean, it would be perfectly natural in today’s world to have a million pets but the moment you have more than two children it’s as if you have entered into another level of crazy. And while it is true that those levels of cray cray do exist to me it’s just not right to compare the two.

For those of you that do not know me, before I am a wife or a Mom I am a Catholic and I try (key word being try) to be a devout Catholic. Well, what the heck does that mean, JoAnne? Well, if we are stepping outside of what some people refer to as the Cafeteria Catholic (meaning, I’ll take this part of my religion but I’ll leave this one) that means that regarding children we do not believe in birth control and we are open to life. But even if I were not Catholic I would not take birth control  just because I do not take an advil unless I really really need one. It’s just the way I have always been. I think the side effects from birth control alone are scary enough. The same with a surgery – I would never have a surgery unless it was absolutely necessary.

All of this said, does this mean we are rabbits as yes, unfortunately, people have called us? No, we are not. If you took sex ed – at least in the 80’s- you would remember them telling you, “it only takes one time!” LOL. Does this mean we should or will have a million children? No, not necessarily but we could. Does this mean we have never been taught natural family planning? No, we have. In fact, I am a firm believer of it, especially of  The Creighton Model even though, um, I myself may not have mastered it quiet yet. :)

In theory a woman should give her body a year to rest in between pregnancies. The most my body has ever had has been around seven months. After the first child, each time I have gone for my first prenatal visit I get giggles and “you’re gunna need a reality show for all these kids!” comments from the Doctors and the staff. At the end of the day all they really want is my updated Christmas card with the latest addition! All kidding aside, I have yet been told by my OBGYNs (and this is from about 10 of them, male and femal alike and all from different religions) to not get pregnant again. I have been blessed with nearly perfect pregancies and deliveries and besides being fat I am in pretty good shape overall thank God!

So, do we know what it takes to make a baby? Clearly. Do we know how to not make a baby? Kinda. So what are we gunna do about it, “all ‘dem kids”? Nutin. We believe that if God wants us to have more children we will and if He does not want us to we won’t. It’s as simple as that. So, fo sho if He wants it they’ll be mo, and mo, and mo! LOL :)

Am I the perfect Mom? No. Is he the perfect Dad? YES. So it works. We balance each other out. And though we have crazy moments and our bad days, all of the good, the JOY, the LOVE, the FUN! in our home outweighs the bad and we do not regret any of our blessings. God has given us the children and He too has given us the grace and help we need to provide for those children in the best way we can.

So, with all of that said, to answer the question, we’re just gunna keep on keepin on and if we outdo The Duggars then GREAT and if we don’t then GREAT.

God bless,

JoAnne

mind-the-gap

Mind the Gap! Mind their Gap!

7 Oct, 2014
JoAnne
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So if you have ever been to London you may recall the blarring reminder you get when the train or subway doors open: MIND THE GAP! MIND THE GAP! Please, MIND THE GAP! This is a friendly reminder to well, mind the gap between the train or subway and the station platform. I remember getting a kick out of it when I lived in London.

Anywhoo, I was reminded of the gap the other day when I was yelling at my kids to CLOSE THE GATE! CLOSE THE GATE! Please, CLOSE THE GATE! The gate I write of is the baby gate and consequently the only one I have in the house. I have had this gate for as many years as I can remember. It is a gate that goes from the upstairs to the downstairs. For a visual let me set the stage for you: we live in a bi-level home. The older four children have their bedrooms on the lower level of the home while the master bedroom and two other bedrooms for the four younger ones are upstairs. As you can imagine, the twinkies (almost age 3 both boys) and the 3rd amigo (the 18 mth old also a boy) think the downstairs is the coolest place to be. There is “big boy” stuff down there like legos, books galore, and well, basically a lot of stuff that they can get into trouble with being the devious tribe they are.

The moment an older child goes downstairs and leaves the gate open one of the 3 amigos immediately stop and look at me as if to say, “Wanna race?!” and that’s it, at that very moment all 3, in unison, stop, drop (their toys), and go. They could each be in different rooms in the upstairs but the moment they hear the gate unclick and not get reclicked – well, that’s it. Then my big arse of a body chases them. Sometimes one of them makes it down and into one of the kids rooms but if I am lucky I can manage to get all three of them back up before they all enter the room of their dreams. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes we do play down there together but for the most part the items there are not to be played with by little ones.

But let’s get back to the root of the problem: what is it about the male brain that 1. does not naturally remember something as simple as closing the gate or 2. does not hear me when I scream CLOSE THE GATE?! Like the recording in London, WHY must I repeat myself a million times for it to register? Of special note is that I reference only the male brain and that is because my two daughters ages 4 and 5 would never think of NOT closing the gate.

I remember growing up and being surrounded by my Dad, my brothers and even my brothers’ male friends, and well, they all did it too. My Mother swears it’s selective hearing but I dunno. I have thought long and hard about it and I seriously think they were made this way.  The reason I think they were made this way is because I have well SEVEN males living in this house and from the wee lil one to the grown up one I see the same pattern. It is mind boggling. I tell my husband the same thing every morning after his shower: please pull back the shower curtain to its original position (GREAT now I’m sounding like an airline stewardess) and open the window  ALL THE WAY. How hard is it to remember that?  And yet, most days the curtain is pulled back and IF the window is open it is 1/3rd of the way.  Or, my eldest son, a very simple concept, go potty before bed. That one seems like a natural one to me but I’m a female. Ok, I may very well have undiagnosed OCD but still… :)

Now, as a friendly reminder we know they, the male species are smart; in fact they are very smart. As an example, even the youngest of their species proved this with the clicking/non reclicking (if that is a word) of the gate… But all joking aside, if I am right, if the male species was in fact made this way why they were made this way is beyond me. Is this a lesson in patience for all of women out there? Are we just meant to be a repetitive gender? I seriously don’t know. If you find out please let me know. Until then whether you are minding the gap or closing the gate, be sure to mind their gap. :)

 Also, be sure to check out and enjoy this video that came out today which is titled Male Pattern Blindess. I love it. It’s another blog in and of itself.

God bless,

JoAnne

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