My Love/Hate Relationship With Facebook

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My Love/Hate Relationship With Facebook

8 Apr, 2018
JoAnne
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Almost 8 years ago my husband saw me suffering with a mild bout of postpartum depression. In an effort to take my mind off of what I was thinking, feeling and experiencing he encouraged me to create a Facebook account. I did and immediately his goal worked! I had a lot of fun creating my profile and etc. But after a short duration I realized how public some of my pictures were (like the profile pic and cover photo pic) and I read about the safety issues around it and then decided not to be on it or to change what I posted and what I did not. Eventually, however, I succumbed to just having whatever pictures I wanted up and I did not worry about it…which is probably not a good thing.

My original intent was always to just have a Facebook page for me and my family (as in my children) so that they had one place to go to read about mostly them but yes, my husband and me too. I have always been a huge journal and keepsake person but as you can imagine it is hard to manage nine (and now ten!) journals so this was and is an easy fix! It is also great that “The Social Book” now exists so that you can actually print your entire Facebook page! I love that idea but only if I can remove things that would not apply to my children like news, politics, etc.

But, as the years went on I ended up using Facebook for more than my original purpose. Instead of it just being for me and my immediate or extended family it ended up being for and with other people. There is nothing wrong with that if that is what you are looking for in your social media account. But again for me personally that was never my intention.

I recently gave up Facebook for almost a week and I learned a lot. I learned that I actually only really use Facebook for: me/my posts (at times it can be like I’m just talking/venting to myself!), following my closest best friends (the ones that I actually see and talk to on a daily or monthly basis) and family members-near and far, buying/selling, weather and religion. Otherwise I did not use it for much else. I also realized that guess what? Maybe not all of my “friends” on Facebook actually follow me. If they did they would notice that I was gone, right? Or notice that I returned, right? Right. What is a “real” Facebook friend anyways? Is a Facebook friend a real friend or an acquaintance? I also learned that guess what? Those people who actually follow me probably do not care about what I eat, where I check in, and etc. Lol! I am sure they sometimes love my drama which I do openly share… I would imagine a lot of them grab a bucket of popcorn some days and just watch what unfolds with my sometimes chaotic posts. And hey, that’s ok! But I actually discovered that I am probably doing them – the people on my page that are probably thinking “just shut up!” or “stop posting so much!” or “keep your issues to yourself!” a favor if I “unfriend” them. I hate the word “unfriend” as I feel it is harsh. It is not as if I am truly “unfriending” people when and if I ever do it which is not often. No, it is more that I am just bringing my Facebook page back to its original intention which I mentioned a few times already. I also know that people often joke about how open I am on my page. I know there are several people who just want me completely off of Facebook all together and I get that but that is not who I am! I will likely always be open and I will likely always be on Facebook even if I take more breaks from it. I kind of feel like “take me or leave me for what I am worth” (or not worth). But, in the end, I am who I am…

I have learned that Facebook can be a great business tool (for this my Mom blog). It has a lot of benefits but it also has a lot of downsides. It has become an advertising nightmare. It is one reason I do not like to look at my newsfeed. I would rather go to April’s page (for example) to see how she is then to go through my newsfeed for hours until I finally get to April’s one post. Lol! All of these suggested pages and posts are annoying and a joke! You search for one thing on your phone and immediately and somehow cryptically Facebook knows it and hits you with an advertisement! The games on Facebook? I do not play at all and I ignore invites (sorry). The Facebook forwards? “If you don’t share this message you will die!” is another annoying aspect for me which I also usually ignore. But again, this is all me and part of my love/hate relationship with Facebook.

Obviously when one goes off of Social Media you see what you miss and what you don’t miss. You see how much freaking time you save by not being on it! You see how -OMG! – you are actually so much happier and at peace when you are not on Facebook so much! Why? Because the politics and religion can depress you. Your “friends” – real or not- and their views who may be totally against your views may upset you. It is actually crazy that we do this to ourselves. Lol.

So thanks to my little break from Facebook and from some recent private happenings in my life I have decided to reign myself back in. My personal Facebook page will once again be for the intention of my children. My Professional Page will remain and of course I will share pictures of my kids and etc. there every so often. But for me both pages and the content within themselves will be kind of like a separation of Church and State. My Professional page will be focused on my blog, books and etc. My personal page will once again be me being open about my kids, family, maybe dramas (lol) and about my passion for my religion.

I used to feel bad about not accepting requests or liking certain pages. I have and do feel bad about the “unfriending” but I do not know why I do – maybe because the climate around Social Media has convinced me that I should feel bad when really I shouldn’t.  I do not think I should feel bad…as my friend just told me yesterday, “it’s your page!” You can actually really be my friend and yet NOT be on Facebook at all or be on my Facebook page OR you can you NOT be my friend and yet still be “friends” with me on Facebook. In the end, you know who your real friends are and it is really up to you whether you want them to be involved in your Facebook “life” or not. It’s all about how you interpret the word “friend”.

For personally I am always praying for another conversion, a daily conversion and with that being said that is why I have changed things up a bit with regards to Facebook. I have removed all old public profile and cover photos. My plan is to keep those photos generic but not of me and my family (let’s see how long I can really last with that!). I also hope and pray to not spend as much time on it anymore. I also hope to try not to post a lot but to make the posts I do post meaningful in one way or another (again with the main audience for me being my kids). I know, some can read this and think WOW she is taking this Facebook thing or page too seriously! But I am because again, it’s really for my kids…

So, for those of you who are my Facebook “friends” thanks for the ride! I know it can get a little crazy at times. I would never ever blame someone from unfriending me or even blocking me! Lol. Trust me when I say that contrary to popular belief I actually don’t “like” myself. Lol!  And I do remember the first time I was blocked and unfriended. I will not lie, it hurt a little but I understood why the person did it and I respected that. And what I had to and still do have to remember is that in the big scheme of things-for crying outload!- it’s just a social media account…whether it’s just mine or just yours… Now if God was on social media that would be a different story but let’s just thank God for His sake and for ours that He is not on social media. God only knows how many dislikes He’d be shooting out and how many people He’d be unfollowing (likely including me!)! Lol.

With all of this said…happy posting my peeps!

God bless,

JoAnne

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